Also posted to the Big Hit Box here.
These are the very most basic rules that you, as a WoW Player operating in Melee range, should follow. Several apply to the lesser classes, but you, oh dealer of the Smashy, Smashy, shall embrace them all.
I. Do not die. Even if you can Ankh. Using your death as an aggro wipe is an abomination.
II. Do not cause your raidmates to die. In this way, do not allow the healers or wearers-of-cloth to become squished by Lesser Nasties should the Tank ignore them. Your weapon shall be your weapon, but CC shall be your shield in a time of trouble.
III. Do not overtax your healers by taking undue raid damage. In this spirit, do not stand in front of the Big Nasty, nor should you stand in any nastiness the Big Nasty has strewn on the floor.
IV. Focus your Fire by assisting and following the kill order. ALWAYS.
V. Use your trinkets and cooldowns wisely. When in doubt, early and often. If your raid leader orders you to pop your trinkets and they are on cooldown, smile for you have done well.
VI. If the strategy calls for you to interrupt spell-casting by the Big Nasty, do so. The loss of dps is insignificant compared to violating the First, Second, or Third commandments.
VII. If you have a buff to share with melee, use it. This includes debuffs to the Big Nasty and anything that mitigates damage on the Tank. Though he is unintelligent and stands in front of the Big Nasty and probably smells a little funny, he is your melee brethren.
VIII. Do not show up to raid unprepared. Read the strategies, bring consumables, and have your items enchanted. Listen to your raid leader and class leader. Bring an offering of gold for repairs and pay it to Murphy willingly.
IX. Know what items and statistics will improve you and in what ratios. Do not stand around a dead Big Nasty and debate if his loot is good for you. This too is a violation of the Eighth commandment.
X. Do not covet your neighbor’s Recount. Do not violate the above commandments in an attempt to increase your dps at cost to the raid. This is a violation of the spirit of the law, which is teamwork.
*With my apologies to God if I have profaned His Scriptures. Oh, and Charlton Heston, who I did not recognise as a complete Bad Ass until he was dead.
DPS Plate 
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Nice post, agree that too much people are all about ” ZOMG LOOK AT THE NUMBERS” rather than being sensible.
Also got pointed here by holy discipline.
Well done =)
Love these, especially three, but what happens when the idiot standing in front of the Big Nasty refuses to pull him out of the nastiness on the floor? Is he trying to use the nastiness to make him smell less funny? 😛
Not even Flame Wreath can cover the stench of Leper Gnome. Old spice only works for a short duration, but it’s worth doing daily cooking quests to try it. 😉
Hehe. As your melee brethren (see commandment VII) I have to say how much I appreciate it when the commandments are followed by my dps kindred.
Sorry about the smell, that Eck residue is hell to wash out of fur.
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“If your raid leader orders you to pop your trinkets and they are on cooldown, smile for you have done well.”
Sometimes that applies, but there are also times where NOT waiting to pop trinkets and cooldowns at the right moment is a very, very bad thing. There are some fights where your max DPS output needs to be saved for a certain point. For instance, Maexxna has a Frenzy at 30% health, so she needs to be burned through that final 30% as quickly as possible. Speaking as a tank, I’d rather take slightly longer to get to the enrage than spend more time getting hit harder at the end.
You, sir, are the real “Bad Ass.”
Love the post, keep ’em coming!
II and IV seemingly contradict each other, to a degree.
II should always take precedence over IV: Dead toons cause exactly zero damage.
Excellent post.
Stroking one’s ego is not what it’s about. Do your assigned job and look at Omen, not Recount.
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Yes, folks, there are exceptions, but we have to acknowledge them as exceptions.
In technicality, Flame Wreath qualifies as “nastiness strewn on the floor” but you shouldn’t move from it.
The point was following these more we’d all do a bit more dps. (and I am just as guilty! My T7.5 chest is unenchanted until I can farm more abyss.)
An excellent and well-written list of commandments. Were you on a pinnacle in Storm Peaks when it was handed down unto you?
I think this should be mandatory reading for anyone about to step into any instance!
Good tips. Just a little peeve: brethren is an old plural form of brother, so commandment VII should either read they/brethren or he/brother.
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Heh, love the don’t tax the healers bit, because god, melee dps are great at that
Dealers of the smashy smashy 😛
It’s missing a flat out statement of “DON’T PULL AGGRO YOU F*$&ING IDIOT”. (II) technically covers that, but that also includes stuff like breaking CC, etc.
I like to be explicit when I’m loathing people.
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Excellent post. You summed up hours of screaming on vent clearly & conscisely
Neren
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