Tag Archives: Recount

Ten Commandments for All DPS

Also posted to the Big Hit Box here.

These are the very most basic rules that you, as a WoW Player operating in Melee range, should follow. Several apply to the lesser classes, but you, oh dealer of the Smashy, Smashy, shall embrace them all.

I. Do not die. Even if you can Ankh. Using your death as an aggro wipe is an abomination.

II. Do not cause your raidmates to die. In this way, do not allow the healers or wearers-of-cloth to become squished by Lesser Nasties should the Tank ignore them. Your weapon shall be your weapon, but CC shall be your shield in a time of trouble.

III. Do not overtax your healers by taking undue raid damage. In this spirit, do not stand in front of the Big Nasty, nor should you stand in any nastiness the Big Nasty has strewn on the floor.

IV. Focus your Fire by assisting and following the kill order. ALWAYS.

V. Use your trinkets and cooldowns wisely. When in doubt, early and often. If your raid leader orders you to pop your trinkets and they are on cooldown, smile for you have done well.

VI. If the strategy calls for you to interrupt spell-casting by the Big Nasty, do so. The loss of dps is insignificant compared to violating the First, Second, or Third commandments.

VII. If you have a buff to share with melee, use it. This includes debuffs to the Big Nasty and anything that mitigates damage on the Tank. Though he is unintelligent and stands in front of the Big Nasty and probably smells a little funny, he is your melee brethren.

VIII. Do not show up to raid unprepared. Read the strategies, bring consumables, and have your items enchanted. Listen to your raid leader and class leader. Bring an offering of gold for repairs and pay it to Murphy willingly.

IX. Know what items and statistics will improve you and in what ratios. Do not stand around a dead Big Nasty and debate if his loot is good for you. This too is a violation of the Eighth commandment.

X. Do not covet your neighbor’s Recount. Do not violate the above commandments in an attempt to increase your dps at cost to the raid. This is a violation of the spirit of the law, which is teamwork.

*With my apologies to God if I have profaned His Scriptures. Oh, and Charlton Heston, who I did not recognise as a complete Bad Ass until he was dead.

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